stayintact

If a boy had a chance, a chance with someone like you
Are you gonna break his heart, let him cry for the moon
Are you hiding somewhere behind those eyes?

I just freeze every time you see through me
And it’s all over you, electric blue.
On my knees, help me baby,
Tell me, what can I do, electric blue.

Oh I had a dream, For a moment I believed it was true
Oh I’d have given anything just to be there with you
Are you hiding somewhere behind those eyes?

I just freeze every time you see through me
And it’s all over you, electric blue.
In too deep, standing here waiting
As I’m breaking in two, electric blue.
I can see, can see that it may be
Just a vision of you, electric blue.
On my knees, help me baby,
tell me what can I do, electric blue.

(help me baby)

Are you hiding somewhere behind those eyes?

I just freeze every time you see through me
And it’s all over you, electric blue.
In too deep, standing here waiting
As I’m breaking in two, electric blue.
I can see, can see that it may be
Just a vision of you, electric blue.
On my knees, help me baby,
Tell me, what can I do, electric blue.

I just freeze every time you see through me
And it’s all over you, electric blue.
In too deep, standing here waiting
As I’m breaking into, electric blue.
I can see, can see that it may be
Just a vision of you, electric blue.
On my knees, help me baby,
Tell me, what can I do, electric blue.

Electric blue
Electric blue
Electric blue

damn, its been a few years since i’ve blogged. nope, there’s really nothing on my mind you see. these few weeks, there may have been stuff to bitch about, like dave teo, ngo shooting at me, hockey’s up and downs and downs, but really i’m feeling a void.

wad kinda void? i’ve got 6 weeks left. 6 weeks left feel like the start of bmt. damn, 42 has a good way of playing with your mind.

more voids. when i’ve finally thought i’ve grasped the ropes of H2 math…

mroe viods. i think i’m losing my ability to interact with pple. i’m gonna face it, i think i’m having mild paranoia. mild schizo. i dunno, its like i’m expecting too much from myself. or is it juz my lack of self confidence? god knows. i’ve got 6 weeks left to settle this prob.

meor ivods. i’m supposed to go velvet underground w berton. training juz won’t allow.

fuck this shit. haiz. ventillate.

recently i’ve been playing a lot of pirates on facebook. pretty fun stuff, its been like less den a week and i’m lvl 40. 9@Yn335. so in my mind i’ve been nuturing cranky ideas (further fuelled by the atmospheric static tt naturally occurs when too many halo fans gather and anticipate only one thing) about

• a pirate being summoned by a king to help save the earth
• they were unlikely friends, pirate saving king despite the insane bounty on the kings head
• happens in the future i.e. space travel i.e. earth is no longer under human control
• only the pirate, the king and a closed circle know of this friendship between the king and pirate

and the rest needs to be fleshed out. but i can’t put my finger on where.

ooh la la. qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum. whoever desires peace, prepares for war. yay. love, saf.

ok, onto more important things.

assume i bought some stocks. before that, i have the overarching clause that states that "do nothing until the end of the time frame" i set myself some conditions to follow:

1. sell off when profit hits N% in the short run (max of 4 mths, else to be determined by oneself given the background info of the company), knowing this stock is a rather profitable one
2. if the aforementioned stock hits N% faster than expected, allow it to rise. also, reassess the situation so as to set a new profit target (N1%) and time frame. make this your final assesment and decision until the start of the next time frame. profit levels may not reach N1% by end of time frame, but as long as it is not lower than the expected profit of N%, it is worth selling. else, monitor daily; the moment it receeds to N% before the end of time frame, sell.
3. as time progresses and unforseen circumstances strike, revise a new lowered profit target, N2%. seeing it is not profitable and losses are expected by the end of the time frame, monitor until stock hits N2%, and then sell. (if blue chip, hold at all costs! in the long run, it should rebound, hence merely extend the time frame) avoid panic selling. having a time frame of 1 day is a considerably panicky behaviour. something in me innately tells me that panic selling may seem logical, but it is only logical that people panic instead of sitting down and try to think of a solution.

ok, flaws abound. comments pls.

read about the powell doctrine. after seeing how some things turn out, i think i need to devise my own doctrine on matters concerning love.

ya ya ya, ancient pple playing ancient games. sordid. but its damn good la. for tt era, its a 3 thumbs up. tho we muz remember tt within half a year doom3 appeared.

end up fighting the demonic horde tt’s, well, demonic. dumbass jackals (think halo’s shild weilding stuffs) and mages tt shoot skulls at you that you can actually dodge. and demons on fire. hawt.

and ya, all demons have an insane amt of health. shooting at the shields can be deadly: ricochets will injure you. and kicking won’t bust the shields aka Halo. oh god, i really miss playing halo. i still have the iso in my comp. insanely fun tho.

well, good news is that the animation for kick means its balls of teh feet connecting balls of the man. sadly, it ain’t no instant kill (it deals measly damage in fact), but well u can reload and kick, so it kinda compensates. by too little tho.

no really fun weapons so far. luger’s nothing like the m9D. (oh wait, here’s another halo comparison) mp40’s pretty good stuff. thompson’s the temporary shotgun. those slugs really fell pple. and the bullet spread can shame a shotgun. silenced sten tt overheats. anway when the first man dies everybody’ll rush in to welcome u to his wake.

bad tho. the cursor changes colour corresponing to your health. kinda good guage when you’re in teh thick of battle. white = perfect, yellow = half life, red = low health baby. great. red works wonders on colour blind pple fighting in the catacombs. pple like me.

took me wad, 6 days to d/l it. was finally shooting off an amazing 10kbs during the last 5 hours. pathetic. my starcraft+broodwars during tt same time period was topping 40. now its at 35.7%, 1kbs. right.

woo..ah tat’s w950i is really rocking pples socks off…tho it keeps hanging and stuff…blah

E3!oh my god, the trailers are juz such a killer la. COD4, Halo3, MGS4, its juz damn nice la. plus tt assasin’s creed lady (i would like to have my own horse so i can pet it~ -sheepish laughter-) make for an amazing E3 this time round, tho i muz say the new concept was too…formal haha…

ooh! serene, was it? hmm, beer ladies are nice pple after all. haha..ok ok more of such talk will become fodder for gossip. on to fun stuff. my rashes are still not gone and i’m supposed to play hockey. heard many terrible tales of pple losing body parts. i wanna try.

and on to more disturbing news. i don’t mind signing on. but not in SAF. unless they have a combat force more active that that of the US. coz otherwise i’ll juz sign on with the marines. cuz really, shooting at stuff, shooting back, its like part of my being. if not, a PMC i guess.

well, that’s of course if i still have problems trying to fund my university la haha…

its positive. my parents are old. the old like to see the world tinted in thier own prejudices. somehow, money has grappled them. losing money is not in thier appetite. somehow word’s gotten around that i’m living a frivolous life.its really interesting, this thing called impressions.

i’m very displeased with this thing called camp, called home. both are about brainwashing, both are about shoving work upon people so that you can get escape as much as you can.

leading by example. servant leadership. concepts that don’t make sense to selfish people.

i’ve made a pact with mom. 3k in my bank. end november. daryl, i’m sorry but things are going to move a bit faster than we all hope.

am i too friendly? yes, everyone’s taking chunks out of me. i believe in a fair and just god.

its funny. 20 really doesn’t feel like anything. other den reading mangavolume, there’s nothing much these days.

read cowboy bebop. read once piece. read fullmetal alchemist. read full metal panic. read apocalypse meow. waiting for more good stuff to come this way

one piece. absolute havoc! every plot is extended, yet subtely linked…just as you thought you had one plot pinned down, old characters turn up at key moments without being excessively duex ex machina.

damn, the leg wound is persistently giving me hell. i hate the plastic wrapping. i understand the pain meat in the fridge feels when wrapped in cellophene. and i dun understand japanese. still.

and i dun understand my mother even more! once again, PMS-mode, scolding me for resting as i help her do work…a moment of angst blinds her to all teh good tt was done before…and when i ask for a small rest cuz to be honest my inertia to do work is kinda high (i’ve had enough of NS, rushing to wait, waiting to rush, pointless running around just to look busy)

can’t i rest? i’m only 20, i’m expected to behave like a 30yr old office acolyte. fuck that. all for the sake of show. doing pointless stuff. cleaning up a table who’s mess is not done by me. cleaning up a room where dust can only be detected by my mom.

cleaning up a vehicle shed whose mud isn’t ours. area cleaning even though it was done yesterday.

when did home become and extension of camp? or is this me suffering the last blow from the dying tentacles of an archaic school of thought?

sigh. is this wad the office instills in people? i’m no archer’s target board.

was looking thru the papers and saw this photographer who’s colour defecient like me. apparently john clang is world famous and stuff, known for his photos with an apparent lack of certain tones.

he started off twiddling with black and white colours only in his compositions. ok, i did grayscale. its painful, but gotta juz grin a bear w it. i mean, hows it like to live life seeing less of juz a few critical tones of colours? you will be a bleeding confused person.

i was hanging out w council peeps these days, really talking to them and stuff. haven’t really caught up w them haha…sigh, del mar rocks haha…i wanna go back to those days of havocking

but honestly, once uni starts, tt frugal life muz kick in again…haha…

what i’m saying is prob gonna grab unnecessary attention. but heck, someone’s gotta air his views somewhere. what i want is a better world, but the means i’m going to put forward will prob group me along the lines of the terrorist.

which i am not. in fact, what i’m saying here is in fact a possible means to counter them.

i have a great disdain for acts of terror. but the world has thier own ways of doing thier stuff. sure, they may condemn terror, but it is not in the interest of nations to proactively stop it.

i was reading the book "beyond the age of innocence". i hope i didn’t get it wrong, and i must declare first and foremostly tt this is an excellent book that is unbiased and incisive. it showed how the US gave help to the world, the world looked up to it, and when it turned its back it inadvertently sowed the seeds of terror based on a warped Islamic ideal.

however, realpolitik suggests tt as long as each nation is capable of covering thier own ass, it should be good enough to preserve the status quo. nations will condemn the killings in the Gaza Strip, in Iraq, in Afghanistan, in Bosnia, in Columbia, but really does anything concrete.

not unless it is in thier interest. interest.

which makes me rather sad, because hope had bathed the globe in the form of the US. which now turned its back on the world as they were no longer valuable in the practical sense of the word. and it is these countries whose citizens suffer.

i am yet to read the end of the book, and its suggested solutions. apologies for such an immature approach, because the thought brought back ideas that i had nearly forgetten a long time ago.

the mercenary organisation. which is just the military arm of a global ‘justice’ organisation which really should be the UN. and i propose the UNSC takes up ownership of it as well.

the mercenary organisation has no need to worry of global politics, it has a free rein, free from selfish realpolitik that while preserving some nations, ruin others. and it is these other nations tt this organisation will be fighting for.

there are many other reasons for such an organisation, and many others to counter it. i shall delve further into tt at some other time, cuz my mom wants me to eat lunch now.

damn, stuff like these really shouldn’t be going into friendster blogs haha…